Why I Seriously Love Being A Woman Sometimes

This is a follow up, of sorts to my latest post “Why I Seriously Hate Being A Woman Sometimes” so if you haven’t read it… well just do.

If I painted my life in a more vivid array of colors than is actually accurate, allow me to set the record straight.
Phil’s days off are Monday and Tuesday. And this past weekend has been some kind of hell. Daylight Savings threw everyone for a loop. All our meal times, bed times, errand-runnings, and time together were jumbled up. And I for one, got probably 5 hours of sleep over the whole 3 nights. I also felt emotionally and spiritually out of sorts. Vulnerable, and very opened. I felt very little resolve about my last post, and I even debated taking it down because I had such lack of closure.
My mom called me this morning and expressed about the same line of emotion and it immediately stirred up my heart up.

I think as women, we can often feel like this. With such a huge capacity for emotion and maybe a uncertainty of where and how to put it. We’re often labeled as emotional creatures, and I don’t think that’s necessarily an inappropriate term. Because just as capable of judgement and criticism of each other, as we are – we are also incredibly loyal and are quick to defend one another, if challenged.

Women have a sense of camaraderie for each other in a regard that is rarely comparable. Maybe this is why when we are betrayed by one another, the wound is that much more painful. When you meet a woman you connect with on a deep level, and she abandons you, the twisting in your gut is so physically wrenching that a break-up with a man isn’t even on par. If this has happened to you, then you understand. If it hasn’t, trust me you’re not missing out.

So what’s the point here?

There is a change that happens inside of us every day. When we wake up in the morning we have the opportunity to define who we will be. How we will support, love, and empower one another or how we will build up our own egos, and stay convinced in the idea that we are alone in the world – what a selfish idea that is indeed.
It doesn’t feel all that inspiring and grand in the moment, but I promise every day we are given new chances to be better. I can’t tell you what it feels like when I leave the house without makeup and I’m doing my shopping, minding my own business, and another woman gives me a genuine smile. I know, it sounds so small and maybe my standards are a little low, but a real smile has so much power.

There’s that meme about becoming best friends with the drunk girl you meet in the bar bathroom and it’s UNREAL how true that is. When our guards are down and we’re all on the same level, I’m no better than you and you’re no better than me. That is when we find ourselves so comfortable and ready to let other women hear all the secrets of our soul.

Could we live like that? Could we allow ourselves to have the maturity and vulnerability to admit that we are no better than anyone else. That my struggles do not outweigh yours, that your past is no darker than mine. That we have all felt ashamed, alone, deserted, abandoned, and dark.

Having good girlfriends in your life makes you feel like you hold the secrets to the universe. Every time I’m having an emotional collapse, all I want to do is call my older sister and have her remind me that I am beautiful, worthy, and remembered. And when she does, it gives me a new stride in my step. I wonder what I was ever scared of. What was I even worried about to begin with?

Be an older sister. Push past your fears of being rejected and see that the world is bigger than you. Show your face for who you really are. Not for what you think people want to see. If every day we stepped out of our comfort zone for maybe 5 minutes, how much good do you think it would do.

This isn’t meant to sound like I’m yelling at anyone, because trust me I struggle with this so much too. Sometimes I feel so insecure about how who I am, and the progress I’ve made. I feel like I’m still 17, unable to make a decision and stick with it, so afraid of being alone that I’ll do anything to feel just a small fleeting moment of love. I look at my own heart and I wonder if it will ever amount to anything, if I will be able to convey myself in a way that makes people proud to know me. Will I be a person worth knowing?

I honestly don’t know the answer. I know what my mom would say, or my older sister, or my younger sisters for that matter. So on days where you hear nasty voices telling you that you don’t matter – maybe you have to make a decision to believe the ones that say you do. (Not that it’s so easy, but it is so worth it.)

And I guess that’s why I love being a woman sometimes. This enormous roller coaster of emotions that I find myself going through so often is a constant reminder of how intricate and complex I am. The fact that I can feel all these negative images that tear down my heart, and then hear an encouraging word from another woman shoot them all down.

Women, have the courage to go to bat for each other. If we get hurt, then I guess it’s just another day isn’t it. Be safe places for one another. Be the friend that doesn’t ghost another girl if you don’t get along. Have the guts to communicate.

Because maybe if we all do that, we all will be friends worth having.

So much love to each and every person reading this.

#theend